Lost in Life
by Dragons of Life
Summary: She writes in her journal every night, but that still doesn’t help. She’s a cutter that wished that one day she will cut too deep, she thinks about it all the time. In the end, her tears fill her eyes as she finally cuts her last vein…


Well here I am again... I hope that you guys aren't mad at me for not writing a new fanfic, and if you are, then just e-mail and tell me what you would like me to do. Hope you like this angst fic. I'm really good at this, so I'm hopping that the story won't be short. If it is, then I'm sorry, not good at making these things long because it takes a lot of pages on Word to get to a few pages on FanFiction...  
  
Summary: She writes in her journal every night, but that still doesn't help. She's a cutter that wished that one day she will cut too deep, she thinks about it all the time. In the end, her tears fill her eyes as she finally cuts her last vein...  
  
This story is all done in my character's point of view, she may or may not be an actual character from Yugioh. It's up to you people to find out and/or make up the person...  
  
Hope you enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Yugioh people as well as the show.  
  
Dear Journal:  
  
Today was a weird day. Yugi and his friends invited me to eat lunch with them. I would have said "yes", but the look on his face make me think that he only invited me because he took pity on me...So I simply told them that I didn't want to sit with them because I was happy where I was, what a lie! That's no surprise. People only talk to me because they think that I'm some kind of crazed lunatic, but I'm not! Ever since my father raped my mother which resulted in my birth, she has hated me ever since saying that I look like my drunk-ass father. She was murdered on July 5th 1995, meaning five years ago by the man who make her life, as well as mine, a living hell... I go to a school called Domino High. It's now been a few weeks since Battle City, and even if Yami saved Marik, he still went all evil again. It's like time repeating itself again, but Yami Marik is gone for sure. Moving on. I've started again, it's now my 75 deep cut. I used to do it with a can, but even since my razor fell on the floor letting the blade come loose, well let's just say that my can is gone. My brother is now in the hospital because he crashed his car in a tree somewhere going 200m/h. The doctors think that he may not make it, but I hope he does. He is all that keeps me from suiciding, not to mention that he is all I've got...Well I should get to bed now, it's getting late.  
  
The Next Morning  
  
DRING DRING DRING!!!  
  
Stupid alarm I thought as I threw it across my room, smashing it in a wall. Never did like that blasted thing I got up as silently as I could because I didn't want to wake my father up. I still have the bruises o remind me about last night...  
  
I was in my room doing homework when I looked at my clock. Seeing it was 11pm, I wondered where my father could be when I heard the front door slam open.  
  
"Where are you you stupid bitch?!" shouted my father.  
  
"Coming!"  
  
As I got downstairs, I knew that more bruises would be added to my collection. He threw my across the room in a fit of rage.  
  
"You little slut, do you know what happened today?! I'll tell you! Your stupid school called to tell me that you were doing very good. Well that's a bunch of lies! You are a woman and women can't do anything. Look at your mom, she's dead proof. If you ever get that school to call again, you won't live to get to whatever grade you're in, got that!"  
  
"Yes" I replied, catching my breath as my father's foot hit my stomach.  
  
He then dropped on the couch and drifted into deep sleep.  
  
As I covered my bruises with some cover-up, the memories of my past came back: the first day that my father beat me. After covering my bruises, I turned my attention to the scars on my arms. The longest one went all around my upper left arm. That one was the latest, making my cuts total at 75. Squeezing the bottle, I realised that there was no more make-up. Damn that. Well I'm wearing a long-sleeved shirt anyway, so nobody will notice. Looks like I'll have to stop by the drug store on my way back from school. I finished dressing, grabbed my bad and left the house.  
  
I didn't live far from school, only about half an hour away. It gave me time to think about what would happen every day before I got to class. As I walked, I passed by the Game Shop. Yugi and his friends would gather there then leave shortly after to go all together to school. It was only 6:50am and they didn't leave until 7:30am.  
  
Getting to school, I went to my locker, took out the books that I needed, and then went to my first class, Algebra. I was a grade A student, but teachers always thought that I cheating because I spent my time looking out the window. They trying to pin all the hard problems on me then got mad when I gave them the right answer.  
  
The day passed slowly as usual, but I wasn't going to get out of school at 2:50pm like normal. My last period teacher, Miss Kurabu gave me detention because she was tired that I always gave the right answer to her hard physics problems. I never got detention, which was in the West Wing of the school. It took me a few minutes, but I had managed to find it.  
  
"I knew I would see you in here little missy, take your seat and keep quiet" said Miss Lukiku.  
  
"Ya" was my only answer.  
  
Detention was from 3pm to 4pm, giving me one hour to get my thoughts strait. Ok, so I get out at 4. I'll have time to go see my brother since my dad only comes home at 8:30pm. My mind drifted off for awhile, but was brought back to reality when the 4o'clock school bell rang.  
  
I went back to my locker to find "Get out of town you freak" spray painted on the metal door. That's not very original. As I opened it, I saw my books painted in black with "Psycho" written in different colors. I simply shook my head. Great! Now people know my locker combination. This is getting like their favourite pastime or something. Getting all my things, I walked out the front doors. The first thing that came to me was the fact that it was raining and that I had no umbrella.  
  
Walking to the hospital took only half an hour. As I got there, I make my way to the fifth floor, the Intensive Care Unit (ICU). My brother had his own private room. Tubes were all around him, making him cling to life by electricity. He still wasn't able to breath on his own, so this was the only way to keep him alive...  
  
Seeing my brother the way he was made me very sad. I mean he was so much better then me, and plus, mother liked him. I was always the family's burden, but out of all, my brother was the only one who cared and respected me. And now, well look what he's become... I liked coming in to see him every day because I could talk to him, knowing he would listen and not repeat what I told him. He was in some ways my priest, someone I could confess to. But I'm not religious, so I would never go in a church; he was the closest thing I think.  
  
As I talked, I noticed his machines making noise. I didn't think of it much because they did that often, but when the noise got louder, I started getting scared. The lights were flashing, the machines were now making even more noise then they had ever. I started panicking, calling the nurse, but no one heard. I then when in the hallway and tried to find her. She was there, looking over her files like she usually would do.  
  
"Nurse, my brother, something is wrong!"  
  
"What's wrong?" she asked in a nervous voice.  
  
"His machines are making these noises, and the lights are flashing. I don't know what to do, please help!"  
  
"Alright, I'll call the doctors, go back in the room and I'll be back in a few seconds." she said as she ran to the intercom, calling some doctors.  
  
I hurried back to the room and saw my brother move his head on his own, moaning, and opening his eyes. It was the first time I had seen him move and make a noise of any kind. As I was about to touch his hand, four doctors and the nurse from earlier came in with different machines.  
  
"Get away from him, he's not stable!" one of them shouted.  
  
"But he's moving on his own!" I protested  
  
"Look this is serious. He is bleeding from the inside and he could die at any moment."  
  
I was shoved out the room as they closed the door behind me. Sliding down the wall, I placed my head in my arms as they huddled my legs, and prayed. Dear Râ, please make him stay with me, I don't want to be more alone than I already am... Pease make him live. I sat in the same position and in the same spot for what seemed like hours. Not only was it 11pm, but I was going to get beat up by my dad for being late again.  
  
Around 12pm, the doors finally opened and the doctors, followed by the nurse came out looking tired. I got up, looked at their faces. From that moment, I knew something was wrong. They looked at each other for a moment as the nurse came up to me.  
  
"I'm sorry. There was nothing we could do..."  
  
"What?!" I questioned her as I pushed her aside, wanting to see my brother.  
  
When I went in the room, a deep silence roamed. No machines, no noises. Getting closer to the bed, I saw a brown blanket placed on top of my brother's body. Gently lifting the blanket, as to not disturb my brother's deep slumber, I saw his face. So pale, yet once full of life. And there I was, looking at him, when it hit me. He would never come back, we would never talk again, and I would never see his smiley. I sobbed there for hours on end, not wanted to ever leave him. But it was too late, he was gone... At around 2am, I got up, took my school bag, then after giving him one last look, I left the building not looking back for a second.  
  
Fresh tears were making my vision blurry, but I didn't care anymore. Nothing mattered to me as I walked down the morning streets. In a few minutes, I would get home. Knowing that my father was there, waiting for me, didn't make me afraid. I had lost the one thing that had been dear to me, and now, no bruises could ever make me feel something.  
  
Looking from a distance, I saw that my living room light was still on. God, here we go again. As soon as I opened the door, my father punched me in the stomach.  
  
"Where were you you little bitch!?" he asked, slamming his foot in my side.  
  
"I was out." Was the only thing I could say.  
  
"Well this is your last warning. I'm feeling nice today. So I'll let you live" he said as he kicked me hard in the stomach, then in my already bruised side. He then left me on the floor, leaving out the front door to go drink or something.  
  
"That's it! No more, I can't take this!" I shouted getting up from my spot.  
  
I first went to the kitchen, looking for a drink. What I found pleased me. Vodka, Crown Royal, perfect! Making a blend of those two alcoholic drinks was the next step. After that, I went to the bathroom upstairs, looking for my salvation. Finding some bottles of pills, I read the containers. Sleeping pills, Anxiety pills, Anti-depressant pills... Perfect, this is just what I needed. Heading to my room with the bottles, I locked the door. It only tool a few seconds to make a blend of all the pills. Opening my desk, I found the last piece of the puzzle: my razor blade. I smiled knowing that this was the end. No more pain, no more living, no more nothing.  
  
I took the pills all at once then drank the alcoholic blend I had made earlier. I was already dizzy, but I needed more... Taking the blade, I slit my wrist, making a very deep cut. Blood spilled everywhere, but I wasn't done just yet. As the blood came down my hand, I took the blade one again and slit my other wrist, making the same deep cut. My head spinning, my wrists slit, blood everywhere. Those were the last things I remembered as I slowly put my head on the floor, drifting into eternal sleep as my eyes shut forever.  
  
The Next Morning  
  
"Hey Yugi!" said Joey as he entered his best friend's game shop.  
  
"Hey there Joey, what's new?" asked the tri-haired-colored boy.  
  
"Well it's all over the news. They found Aniya Sahem's body in her house this morning. Police say that she killed herself." Informed Joey.  
  
"Really? Poor girl. She looked really nice too, we used to ask her to eat with us, but she would always reject. I still can't believe a member of our gang did that to herself. Well she may not have known it, but we really liked her..."  
  
Well there you have it guys! Hope you enjoyed this! I'm really sorry for the spelling errors and all that, but I'm really tired now so I'm ganna call it a night soon. Have a good summer vacation!  
  
xoxo Dragons of Life xoxo 


End file.
